


Honesty is a Luxury

by GrumpyMoony



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts, Lies, M/M, MWPP, Style experiment, first wizarding war, fuck how do i tag this, it's a more descriptive thing and idk how to tag those
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 00:24:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16169801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyMoony/pseuds/GrumpyMoony
Summary: Remus Lupin had spent his whole childhood lying. His only wish as he grows up is to know what honesty feels like.





	Honesty is a Luxury

**Author's Note:**

> as i said in the tags, i kinda experimented with a new style here and that was the result! enjoy!

Remus had never been a good liar.

 

As a kid, of course, it wasn’t noticeable. All kids are terrible liars. They love to lie, because seeing what happens when you break the rules is fun. But none of them know how to actually fool people. Remus Lupin was exactly like that: his lies were obvious, too obvious to ever be believed. It didn’t bother him: his parents were never harsh in their punishments, and most of the time all his bad lies earned him a laugh from his father and a warm smile from his mother. It was fun for everyone.

 

Until the lies weren’t a game anymore.

 

Suddenly, everything he said had to be carefully thought through, his facial expressions fully controlled. If he couldn’t lie well enough to fool even the most nosey neighbours, then he had to stay inside where no one would question him.

 

He had never been a good liar, but the intensive training made its impact.

 

Soon, the lies became easy. I was sick that day. I got the scar from my aunt’s dog. I’m just not much of a sports person, my limbs aren’t constantly hurting from the pull of the moon.

 

Honesty became a precious, rare occurrence. A luxury. And when a luxury becomes affordable, you just can’t help but go overboard.

 

The three other boys became his refuge of truth, a warm home where no mask or costume was ever need.

 

All the truths could finally spill out. I am a werewolf. I’m in love with Sirius. I don’t actually feel like giving you my notes from class. I actually don’t like pumpkin juice. I don’t think Lily is going to marry you any time soon.

 

Once honesty became affordable, lies could be fun again. No, I didn’t pour a hair coloring potion in your shampoo. I will never abuse my authority as a Prefect to hide my friends’ pranks. This is my last piece of chocolate, I can’t give you any.

 

Those lies were his choice, and his alone.

 

Consumed by the power of his liberation, he became careless. Let jokes and tiny hints slip past his unlocked lips. He dared anyone to take away the freedom he had longed for.

 

But they did take it away, and it disappeared forever.

 

Lying is a talent, and one he was supposedly good at. There was a war to be won, and surely the safety of the wizarding world was more important than his liking of honesty, right? Put the mask back on, weigh every word, play the part and all will be well.

 

He was no longer a good liar. He couldn’t bring himself to use all of his tricks. His years of carelessness had made all he learned disappear. His lies were see-through, and no one could ever begin to think of believing his poor attempts at crafting make-believes.

 

He would be lying if he said it wasn’t somewhat comforting.

 

But then the unbelieved lies became unbelieved truths. The ones he had always been honest with started to look at every move and word with squinted eyes. When one’s job is to lie, then how can you ever be sure that they’re capable of saying the truth? Traitor, liar. Every bit of truth he could ever provide was disregarded by the skeptical audience.

 

He shouldn’t have been surprised. Honesty was a luxury, and his family had never been well-off. No point in longing after what he could never afford. Accept the part. Accept the mask that you’ll learn to accept as your face.

 

Live like a liar and long will you live.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr at @jk-destroyed-our-best-gay-ships !
> 
> also, since i'm trying stuff out i am (for once) open to constructive criticism! also feel free to point out typos and shit if you see some


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